Monday, January 22, 2007

Mr. Not-Wonderful

I just need to post this because it left me so confused and annoyed that I think it belongs here. Well, today I was approached by a recently-returned missionary who promptly complimented my nylons and shoes saying that they were "very 40's" (oh thank you...) and asked to sit by me in church. Wonderful. Actually, I was quite charmed. Then after church he called me the second I got home and invited me over to his house for dinner, telling me to bring my sketchbook so that we could draw together. Wow! What a cool guy... or so I thought. When we sat down to dinner he opened up one of the strangest kinds of conversations I've ever experienced in my life. One of those kind that feel like "sharing", but at the end you feel like you've just vomited instead of talked. He asked me if I'd recently dated anyone and when I told him my experience with my last boyfriend having SSA he told me that I was looking for it, perhaps subconsciously, and that I had many gay friends because I wanted "fixer-upper" men. WHAT?!!! Who made you my psychologist?! He proceeded to delve into my inner workings and wanted to know why I thought of myself as inferior to the kinds of men I really wanted to date? Well, screw you buddy! I was in love (the closest I've ever been) with my boyfriend and I didn't know about his struggle. How dare he tell me that I asked for it or that I was looking for it. I still love him and regardless of it, I think he is a wonderful example of the kind of man I am looking for, not a "fixer-upper" in the least. I left this guy's house in tears, wondering what I'd told him and wondering why I trusted him. I anticipated dinner and some drawing but instead I feel emotionally raped! What is he going to do with this newfound knowledge? I refuse to tell him anything else about myself or the people I care about. He doesn't deserve it.

Submitted by agirlwho

1 comment:

benji said...

i feel kinda dumb, but what exactly does SSA mean?